searching through madness
by Suzuki Uchiha
Summary: C.C is unsure of her relationship with Lelouch Lamperouge, her sweet boyfriend since high school when he shows up hung over at her job. He later claims to be Lelouch vi Britannia, the righteous crime- full summary inside
1. Chapter 1 with odd emotions

_**summary:  
><strong>_

_**C.C is unsure of her relationship with Lelouch Lamperouge, her sweet boyfriend since high school when he shows up hung over at her job. He later claims to be Lelouch vi Britannia, the righteous crime lord behind Zero. CC must plunge into the underworld of the Black Knights, were she desperately searches for any remains of the man she loves, who he himself claims to never have existed. Will CC be able to rescue her beloved form himself? Or will she fall victim to the charismatic Vi Britannia and his dangerous world? **_

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><p>CC woke up in the morning to the sound of the neighbors fighting once again. Sitting up with a groan, she pushed herself off of the bed and dragged herself into the kitchen. Sitting on the table looking out the big window to the city was Cheese-kun. She served herself a bowl of cereal, turning on the television to the news. It flashed depressing news of depressing events that CC could not watch. She changed the channel to her favorite show, despite it being a child's show depicting the life for Cheese-kun and his family. She hummed the opening song and looked at the clock hanging off the wall. She was already late for work so she decided to take her time getting ready.<p>

After feeding the cat and washing her bowl, a quick bath, and choosing a light pink dress for work, she head off one the trolley to down town Japan. It had rained the previous night and she wrinkled her nose slightly as the smell of hot wet road. When the trolley got to her stop, she hopped off and ran toward the F&C Bookstore, a small shop that she ran with her friend Shirley. Her white flats made not a single noise as she entered the building, but as the door bell rang, she couldn't help but flinch. She let out a sigh, waiting for the angry girl to storm out and lecture her.

Instead she heard panting as the girl bust out behind her, late as well. The bell that was on the door landed on the floor with a thud, and the girls burst out laughing.

"Well now Ms. Shirley, looks like you won't be able to scold me today, now doesn't it?" CC said with a grin on her face.

The orange haired girl blushed, saying "this is one of the few I've been late missy! You only got here a few seconds before me!" and she walked to the counter puffing out her cheeks.

CC picked up the bell and placed on the door, making sure it would stay no matter how hard it was pushed. With a sigh she flipped the sign from "closed" to "open" and when to join her friend behind the counter. Looking over the agenda she let out another sigh. _So much to do and so little of it I want to do, much of that time could be spent at Pizza Hut, _She thought. And so as Shirley dealt with the customers: some asking stupid questions, others too lazy to look for a book on their own, or some random testosterone filled teen that had to be shooed away, CC found herself in the back, revising their supply and looking for any books that could be of interest. Toward noon a truck full of specially ordered books arrived, she and Shirley took upon themselves to restock, organize their attic while finding and emailing those customers whose book had arrived. Finally as the fist rush of the day was coming to an end, they went back to their counter and ate lunch.

As CC bit into her cold pizza, she noticed that Shirley was fidgeting, throwing anxious glances out the big windows. She knew it wasn't the roses the girl was looking at, nor was the girl looking at the old paint on the windows spelling _F&C Book Store_. No, CC knew that she was waiting for something, more specifically _someone_. How did she know?

Well it happened every day at this time, and today was no different. Shirley's cheeks became a pink as a black haired youth, around their age, stopped and parked his bike outside of their shop. Straitening up, his hair fell over his face in an almost angelic fashion, and CC noticed how Shirley's cheeks became redder with every step he took. When he opened the door, the bell declaring his presence, she was surprised her fiend wasn't having a heart attack. Really, what was so special about the boy? His purple eyes? His half smile, half smirk? She didn't know so with a huff, the green haired girl stood up to greet him.

But of course he beat her to it.

"A flower for a flower?" he said, holding up a white flower to her.

And CC broke into a smile.

"Geez Boya! Won't you ever find yourself another pick up line?" she said, taking his flower and placing it in her hair.

"Now why would I do that when that one works so well to bring out your smile?" he said with cocky shrug, all the while letting his eyes wonder over her face, drinking in every detail of her smile.

"Boya! I think you've simply run out of originality!" CC teased, giving him a playful smack on the head. He chuckled and grabbed her still raised hand. Then as if remembering they went along, went to greet Shirley. CC looked at the flower in her hand. A white lily? _Really were does this boy get such things? _She thought with wonder and awe. It was beautiful, but she hoped he hadn't done anything stupid to get it.

" Ah, my flower," he exclaimed, turning toward her again, "look at the time! I really must be on my way, but I'll stop by your apartment to cook you something wonderful!" he said with a wink. "Don't you go pigging out on that pizza stuff, alight?"

He walked over to CC, who had not moved and pinched her cheeks until she responded by kicking his shin. A smirk played on his lips again and CC couldn't help but giggle. Then quickly regaining her stoic face, she quickly pecked his cheek and pushed him toward the door.

As he walked out, she shouted after him, "I'll be waiting!" and he shouted back, "until then my rose!" and then he proceeded to ride past the window, waving like a maniac.

"Really CC, you're so lucky! What would I have done for Lulu to have looked me like that!" she said with a huff.

"Well Shirley, our deal still holds fast, if Lulu ever decides to pay attention to you, he is yours." CC said with a small grin, watching him slowly disappear into the crowd, a boy on a bike. She remembered the promise she made with Shirley when Lelouch had been offered an early graduation and acceptance into the University of his Choice. But now as she searched for him in the crowed, CC felt the stone in her stomach continue to grow.

_ What am I supposed to do?_ She wondered.

**hello world! a new story? yes. though i wont abandon the other. i just really wanted to write this one. ****well i know this first chapter seems weird, maybe a little OC but its just like the calm before the storm. any way, hope you give this story a chance but more importantly i hop you like it! please review! **_i love reviews_**. any way 2nd chapter will be up soon. 3rd? i dont know. some time this or next week because of the small break, but most definitely not this weekend**** but hey. who knows? anyway thanks for reading this chapter, hope you liked it and hope you have a wonderful day!**

-Suzuki Uchiha


	2. Chapter 2 some happiness

**code geass is not mine. sadly **

The boy was tall, he was flirting with Shirley, and he had been asked one too many times to leave.

So CC being CC decided to take upon herself and call him out. In her pink dress she didn't look menacing, in fact she looked beautiful, and the boy began insulting her by hitting on her.

"Really boy, is that what you want to do?" the customers had made a circle, and CC was more than ready to kick this boys ass. She had already thrown her shoes aside and was sizing him up.

"But come on now pretty lady, it's not that bad, there is plenty of me for both of you girls."

Oh that did it, that had pushed CC over the edged and she proceeded to pound his face in and toss him out of her store. She hated smug imbeciles like him. With a huff she entered the store and was greeted with applause and cheers. Truly such vulgarity was not welcome in this store or community. CC did a little curtsy for them and proudly walked into the back room. Once there she let out an annoyed huff.

She held up her bruised hand, which was bleeding a tad bit at the knuckles, but she couldn't blame herself for the injury. It had been a while since she was provoked, even longer since she had actually used force. CC decided the best she could do was wash her bleeding hand and wrap it in some tissue. Once the blood had stopped flowing, she returned to her work of organizing the stores supplies, she placed orders and went through the financial book. As the day came to a close, she couldn't help but secretly munch some pizza she had left over. Then, just as she arrived late every day, she also left for home late at the end of the day at the tender time of 9pm. She always made sure Shirley left before her, had the girl call her at the bus stop and when she arrived to her house. No matter what Mr. and Mrs. Fenette said, CC felt a sense of responsibility to see that her friend got home safely.

The green haired teen did her rounds to ensure every window and door was closed before she allowed herself to go home. The ride on the bus was boring and when she finally got to her stop, she was more than happy to get off. Not even a drunk or hobo to taunt. She walked up to her apartment, hiding a yawn behind her hand. Really all she wanted to do was bathe and sleep cuddled up with cheese-kun and her cat.

Upon opening the door she realized that would have to wait.

"You're pissed." Not much of a question, a fact or a statement. She couldn't care less. Not like she could change his mind, but she could enjoy his adorably angered expression. One would think she yelled out some dark childhood secrete from the way he was looking at her.

"No, of course I'm not pissed. I mean I only made you a dinner and you didn't show up! Or maybe I'm not angry because rumors _**don't **_spread faster than fires in this city. Maybe I'm not angry because after all, you _**didn't **_beat the crap out of some jerk!"

Oh so this was what the boy was angry about!

"Well your highness if it's your terr-"

"CC, don't interrupt me," Lelouch yelled, as the girl responded by raising an eyebrow, he continued, "don't you say it's ironic because _**I **_interrupted _**you**_. What the hell were you thinking? Taking on someone twice your size!"

But CC was no longer paying any attention to him. Instead she walked into the kitchen in search of a band-aid. Lelouch let out a huff and followed after her. She stopped and he walked into her.

"Lelouch I cut my knuckles when I broke his jaw," she said and turned, looking at him with a smirk on her lips, "wont you make my pain go away?"

Ah, how his face lit up in such a way!

"Damn it CC now is not the time to be joking!" he said, taking her hands and examining them.

"I don't see why not." She began to wiggle her fingers in his hands. A red blush ran across the boys face and CC let her shields drop. She laughed out of the pure joy of seeing him in such a predicament.

"Damn it CC," he frowned and looked down at her hands, "you heal fast but be careful next time! What am I supposed to do if you injure your lovely hands?"

So his rage was over? Yes, it was and CC knew because he then proceeded to drop her uninjured hand while raising the other to his face, and rubbed it against his cheeks. CC was about to scoff at him for such displays of sappiness when he moved down and brought her hand toward his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

"Better?" He asked looking at through his lashes. Now it was CC's turn to turn red.

"N-No it's not!" she said, flushing red.

"Oh then maybe you need a little more," he moved his lips from her knuckles to her finger tips, kissing each and every one. CC let him, feeling butterflies in her stomach, the stone that had been in there now totally forgotten.

"Just…Just hurry up and heat the food!" she said, letting a band of pink appear on her cheeks again, slowly sliding her hand out of his.

He let out a chuckle and began his work. CC searched and found a band-aid, which she put on after her bath. Dressed in her Cheese-kun Pajamas, CC wondered into the living room and laid herself on the sofa. She watched her cat play with a toy mouse until Lelouch called her to the kitchen.

The meal was, of course, grand. Once again Lelouch had gone all out to impress his girl. And impressed she was. It seemed she did well on heeding his words of anti-pizza-stuffing, as her table was now covered in all her favorite pizza dishes.

Truly she was a lucky girl.

**2nd chapter! forget what i said! 3rd will be up soon! sometime this week? isnt that what i said in the fist chapter? i cant remember. any way here is the second, once again showing the 'calm before the storm' so i think in the 3rd, the problems might become a little more evident. i hope you all liked or enjoyed! please do review! oh and have a wonderful day!**(or night?)

-Suzuki Uchiha


	3. Chapter 3 the end of something

CC woke up with a smile. It wasn't because the pesky neighbors were quite, no, they would always be obnoxious. No, her sense of happiness was located on the floor beside her bed, snoring softly. She peeked over the edge of the bed to see Lelouch sleeping oh so peacefully with Bee the Cat laying on his chest. The little black critter moved up and down with his breath. CC let out a laugh and looked at the clock. She still had three hours before her alarm would go off.

"What's up?" a groggily Lelouch sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Your snoring woke me up," CC said with a smile, taking Cheese-kun in her arms.

"I hate that thing. Why don't you come down here and hold me CC?" he joked.

"Well maybe I would, if you weren't busy sleeping with other women." She said, with a serious face. This caught him off guard.

"W-What! I've never been unfaithful to you! I swear I've never even napped with another woman!" he stuttered.

"Don't go saying that, Lelouch, you'll hurt Bee's feelings. She loves you so." CC smiled, the light outside pouring on her face. Lelouch breathed a sigh at her horrible sense of humor. He looked up at her, seeing her and only her. Despite it being dark enough to hide her change of color caused by his gaze, CC turned away.

"Will you come down here?"

"Of course, though it would make more sense for you to come up here." She complained as she crawled out of bed and landed softly on the futon next to him. He let out a chuckle and cuddled up with her, the cat falling asleep in between them.

"Stupid cat." She sighed, resting her head on lelouch's arm.

He let out a muffled sound of agreement, already dozing off. As CC felt her eyes closing, she realized Cheese-kun was still on the bed.

"Lelouch, Cheese-kun is up there by himself." She said.

He let out a sigh as he threw off the blankets to reach for the plushy and dropped it on her face. Then he buried himself under the blanket and pillows muttering, "I hate that thing."

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><p>"CC if you're not going to help me with these books then go do something useful!" Shirley said struggling with a mass of books in her arms.<p>

"I would dear but I have to finish this research paper by Wednesday or I'll never get it done." CC didn't look up from the notes she was taking.

"Geez, who would have thought lazy CC who lives for pizza would get herself together for something as simple as her education!" Shirley teased.

"Simple? There's nothing simple about this!" CC complained, still not looking up from her notes. Shirley looked at her friend with a smile.

"How are things going with lulu?" she asked.

"hmn. He's sleeping with another woman," CC said calmly, Shirley let out surprised squeak.

"WHAT! But he's such a good person! And an excellent student" CC laughed.

"I don't see why that would matter if he goes around having an affair with bee! She's a seductress, you know," CC said with all seriousness. Shirley let out a sigh, "really why won't any of you take her seriously?"

"Maybe because she is a cat?" Shirley mumbled. CC let out a laugh.

"Tell you what, I'll handle those books if you be a good girl and take notes on this page for me. I can't look at it anymore or my eyes will bleed." CC stood up and walked to the back room while Shirley moved to the counter were the green haired girl had been working. Scanning the book she realized, it was not simple, not one bit.

"Geeze CC are you serious? Were the same age but you known so much more!"

"Well dear it all depends on the circumstances," CC said as she emerged form the back room with a wagon in her hand.

"We still have those old things?"

"Yes"

"I'll go get the other one okay? Then we'll go get some pizza, okay?"

CC laughed as the girl went to the back.

She heard it before she felt it. She decided it was like being hit by an invisible semi-truck. The force was enormous. Her ears were already ringing. Then the floor rose to meet her face, though she managed to block the impact with her hands. Quickly calculating, she stumbled to her feet and knew, as she yelled, "Shirley, run!" and slammed the door to the back shut, that was all the time she had, but it was too much time already.

Her tears were falling as, the first thing to fly, the bell, appeared right before her eyes. The door, the windows, the books seemed to explode all around her in a colorful mush. Then she went down, as debris and glass swirled and landed, as a piece of what was once a shelf so lovely on the now nonexistent wall, landed on her.

She saw Shirley open the door, yelling anxiously something to her, but as CC stood up, the second round hit.

She slipped on her own blood as she tried to stand, tried to reach her friend.

One word, one word escaped her as the knight mares surrounded the now destroyed bookstore.

_Terrorists_

And the world became dark, dark and so cold.

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><p><em><strong>oh no! this chapter is really short, sorry, i felt like it was a good place to end the chapter. i wish i could say i will update both stories soon, but breaks over so im hoping one chapter a every week or two. <strong>_

**_the cat, Bee was originally going to be called Cheddar, but that seemed a little over used. naming everything CC related after food. especially when lulu helped name the kitty. then it was going to be Bree, but my computer would not accept that. so Bee came from the thought of a black kitty with a yellow bow...or something. yeah the name was an accident, but i liked it so it stayed. _**

**_hopefully you enjoyed this chapter! have a wonderful day! oh and please review!_**

-Suzuki Uchiha

ps i dont own code geass ^-^


	4. Chapter 4 unsure

_It was so dark. _

_Dark and so cold,_

_Yet there in the distance she could see a light. So small yet giving her so much hope._

_She should have known better._

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><p>Her sweet Lelouch. He would smile when he saw her. He would bring her flowers and pizza every now and then. He would call for no reason but to hear her voice. She remembered when they met, how he fell in the big fountain. How when Milly forced him to cross dress for the ball, he became a beautiful maiden while she had turned CC into a dashing bandit. She thought of him following her home that one time, how he claimed he was lost. Or how he openly cried when CC rescued Bee. How he had broken his image of a cold prince when he declared his love for her because Rivalz had tricked him into believing she was leaving.<p>

He was the one who could make her nightmares go away, so strong as he fought off his own. Yet he could not keep from himself form blushing and stuttering in a dignified way when Milly brought up her dirty thoughts on the pair.

Lelouch Lamperouge.

So why?

Why did he drag her out of her warm store after showing up with a hangover, practically moaning from the pain, to just _lie_ to her! She felt herself fall into an abyss. It was so deep and dark and cold no matter how much she hugged herself, she froze.

But then, it had always been Lelouch who made her warm, from the first moment she saw him. She should have realized he would have the power to make her so cold now.

"That stupid bastard!" she screeched, throwing a vase across the room, startling Bee. She slowly knelt down and hugged her knees to herself sobbing quietly.

_Lelouch, why would you do this to me?_ She thought, falling and laying on the ground.

It hurt so much, it was so cold. She wept herself to sleep.

"_**Yes C.C, I am Vi Britannia!"**_

The man who killed so many. Who was so tactless. Who…who killed…

"NO!" she punched the floor. Damn it all.

She wept quietly, dreaming of that day again.

She had changed so much.

She had stopped trusting him slowly; it wasn't like he was in his right of mind when he made that claim.

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><p>But as Lelouch looked down at her, lying on the small infirmary bed, covered in bandages and buries, as he walked over to her and moved the strands of hair from her face. As he wiped the tears of her nightmares gently. As he leaned down, putting his face close to hers, feeling her troubled breathing, he smirked. Kissing her forehead, he donned a mask.<p>

He knew better.

**_I am twicting with anger at how small this chapter is. though since I have nothing else to do, I will try to get the next chapter up soon! cheese will be up too and how many of you would be interested in a Euphie story? just a thought. please review! I love your reviews like cookies.  
><em>**

**have a great day! **

-Suzuki Uchiha


	5. Chapter 5 alone

Searching through madness Ch. 5

This could not be happening. It was impossible. That much she knew.

It was not possible. It was just not possible.

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><p>She woke up to see a red haired girl looking down at her with piercing blue eyes. CC raised an eyebrow, saying 'I can judge you too if I want' with the movement. The girl looked up to a man with curly hair that would have been more acceptable a few years ago and a blonde who most likely never worked in his life.<p>

CC studied her surroundings. From the white walls and sheets and hard bed she could tell she was in a hospital or something of the sort. It smelled like a normal infirmary except there were no scrambling nurses to taunt. She let out a sigh.

"Hey red head, what can you tell me about an orange haired girl?" She asked, not bothering to look at the girl.

"What! What does Zero see in this… this ass!" the girl exclaimed while throwing her hands up. CC jumped in surprise.

The blonde man spoke, ignoring CC as if she were nothing more than a fly. "He has his reasons for this, we just have to give him room." He sounded defensive.

"But she is just a girl!" replied the strange haired one.

"And I'm right here!" CC shouted. She was now afraid and felt her hands shaking. The uniforms they wore were not hospital but Black Knight uniforms. She was suddenly glad her face was horrible at showing emotion. "I have no idea what you are talking about but will you please tell me what happened to the other girl!" she sounded angry and confident while inside she was panicking.

They three turned to look at her, and the strange haired man was the first to talk. "Sorry, I am Kaname Ohgi. This is Detard and Kallen. The orange haired girl is fine. You were our only target."

"Why?" CC demanded, trying to give this man a death stare.

Kallen spoke, "We don't know why!" and with that, she stomped out of the room.

"You have something Zero needs, that is all you need to know," Detard said and he and Ohgi walked out of the room.

She watched them leave, fear now openly portrayed on her face. She hugged her self and laid back down on the bed. The IV was stuck to her hand and she had to pull it out. She hated anything related to hospitals. Not only that, but she was a hostage of the Black Knights.

And she had something Zero wanted.

Zero.

CC knew he was a genius, a mastermind a gifted strategist, and the only man to be able to make Britannia scurry like a rat. If he wanted CC, she had no choice but to oblige, afterall, he knew what he was doing.

But what did she have to offer him? What did she know that could be of assistance to him? Was it worth going into a crowded area and kid napping her?

She felt her eyes begin to water. How was this happening?

She was just a college student, a student who was supposed to be a senior in high school but beat the odds and skipped it. She felt sick. If they wanted a get help she was no geunius, they would have gotten Lelouch.

So why her? Why her, when all she could really do was sort books and breathe?

But thank heavens it was her.

She breathed a sigh of relief. Lelouch was safe, most likely at her apartment, making her food. Worried as hell, but still safe.

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><p>"<em>C.C!" she felt herself lifted into the air as her uncle called her name. "You are going to a new school so behave my dear!~"<em>

"_H-hey! I'm not a kid anymore!" she stated._

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><p>"<em>Please don't leave me" she held his hand. "please, you're all I have left."<em>

_It seemed she was destined to shed tears, weep for everyone she would ever meet._

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><p>"<em>I'm so sorry CC," Lelouch hugged her, trying without success to bring his CC back into the world of the living. "Please, please don't leave me"<em>

_His voice was so distant, she wanted to reach out to him, but _he_ was elsewhere. _

_All she could do was weep._

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><p>CC woke up from her nightmares in tears. She slowly sat up to see she had been transferred and now lay on a luxurious bed fit for a king. The sheets and blankets had been tucked around her gently, but she wanted to still felt cold. She curled up to a small ball, hugging her elf under the blanket.<p>

She heard a noise, the doors opening, and she turned to see who had come. Shadows. Shadows within shadows.

A mask. A mask and a few of the Black Knights.

"Zero," she wasted no time. "What do you want with me?" she demanded. She needed to go home.

"What do I want?" he asked, a voice once so reassuring to her, now one she hated more than anything. "It is not what I want, but what is right! Britann-"

"Don't give me that crap!" she yelled, the members of the Knights looked at her in shock. No one had ever interrupted Zero so rudely. "I don't give a shit about Britannia and its 'evil' ways! I want to know why the hell you chose to kidnap me! Who the hell do you think you are? '_A beacon of light for the weak'_?" she mimicked "Don't try to sell me your hypocritical lies!"

She felt the blood pounding in her head, she felt cold, so cold.

"What do you want?" CC asked again.

Zero seemed, from his tense stance, to relax and actually had the nerve to laugh. The girl, Kallen, walked up to CC side and grabbed her arm, trying to calm the green haired girl.

"Miss C.C? A genius, aren't you? 17 years old , skipped a whole year, your _senior_ year and are now a freshmen in college right?" he stated. "You have a cat, Bee, love Cheese-kun and own a shop with your friend Shirley."

CC felt any trace of warmth leave her immediately. He had been observing her? Why?

"You actually fought over the chance to go to college early, yet you never interact with your peers-"

"That's none of your business!" CC screeched. Kallen's hold tightened.

"What was it for? A boy?" Was Zero making fun of her?

"Leave Lelouch out of this!" Kallen's grip faltered, but it was strong none the less.

Zero moved forward until he was just inches away, leaned his face in and said, "Lelouch? What a nice boy he was."

"-shut up!" CC could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Zero had changed, no longer the hero everyone thought him to be, but only the unlucky got to see him like he was now. CC was very unlucky.

"Begged for his life." Kallen did not move fast enough. CC's fist smashed into Zeros helmet, she felt her hand break. He stumbled back, dumbfounded, surprised.

The Black Knights surrounded her, Zero walked up to her once more. "He is dead. Lelouch Lamperouge is dead."

CC found she could not breathe. The world was blacking out once more. Kallen gave Zero a disapproving look.

**He is dead. I have killed him.**

The words boomed in her head.

Her eyes began to flutter shut.

"Why are you so intent on taking everything away from me?"

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><p><strong><em>how was that! XD im going to reread this and say "What the heck did i write!" and sob. FORGIVE ME FOR CC'S BAD LANGUAGE! <em>**

**_oh no! I killed off lulu? nope, please review! and tune to the next one to find out what really happened to him!_**

-love

Suzuki Uchiha

**ps i do not own Code Geass, but in my mind.**


	6. Chapter 6 Numb

"_Damn it"_ Lelouch hissed, looking into the mirror. C.C had such a good arm, too bad she'd used it to break his nose. Some mask that was, couldn't stop an angry girls fist. He gritted his teeth as he slightly touched his bruised nose. It hurt.

It hurt, as he recollected, hurt more than he wanted to admit. However this was something he _had_ to do. He'd done for her. For C.C. His C.C.

It would be better this way, for her to think him dead. There was no turning back, not after everything he had done as Zero. For C.C to think him dead would be best yes. Because then she would mourn. She would hate Zero and mourn, then move on. Find a new job, go to school, and find a new man who would love her almost as much as he had. It was for her.

He had to agree with Kallen that he had taken things too far. Seeing his green haired girl's angry eyes had awakened something in him much too strong. Oh how he hated himself.

With a heavy sigh the raven haired teen left the room with a back up mask of Zero. Now that he was 'dead' the only thing left to do was move forward. To a place where she could not follow. Someplace far from her sweet smile, far from her joyful laugh, so far he would have no choice but to forget. Yes. He had too. For C.C

"Lel-Zero." A strong voice called out. Kallen appeared with such a big frown on her face he almost laughed.

"What is it Kallen?" He asked without much interest. "Is it done?"

"You'll be happy to know it went without a hitch. We took the girl to a nearby city and left her there. I don't think she will be anymore trouble."

"Did you treat her hand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then let us prepare for the appearance of our second piece." With a smirk on his lips, the boy felt a new excitement course through him. With or without C.C he would do this. He would bring Britannia to its knees.

* * *

><p>C.C brought a blade to her leg, cringing as it slid into the delicate flesh. It hurt. But the pain she felt was far more welcomed than the numb feeling of before. It was so much better.<p>

"C.C!" Joseph Fenette cried while reaching for the blade, which she easily gave up. "What are you doing!?"

Ever since being tossed aside by Zero and his little drones two weeks ago C.C had been invited by Shirley to live with her and her family. Having nothing but painful memories of her place she eagerly agreed, taking nothing but her cat and cheese-kun with her. "I'm feeling."

"Child this is not alright." He sighed with heavy eyes.

"Nothing is alright anymore." C.C watched with sick curiosity as the blood oozed out of her leg.

"Even Shirley seemed horribly stricken by that boy's death. He was so kind. But C.C, do you think he would want to see you like this? So broken? I think it's time for you to at least go out of this room."

"Do…you think…Lelouch bled this way?" With a tilt of her head tears rolled down her cheek. She forced a smile while wiping away the blood. Had Lelouch felt pain? What did he think of? She shook as Joseph placed his arms around her. He'd been such a great father figure for her, yet they were not the arms she wanted.

"Let's get you to the hospital. It's a nasty slash."

"….Alright then." She whispered. Lelouch. She wanted him so much. That idiot dying on her. Why hadn't he realized that without him she had nothing anymore? Without Lelouch…she was alone. She'd already lost everyone else, Shirley had been hurt, and she most likely would continue to hurt everyone. She'd already hurt Joseph with her attitude. Perhaps this was a sign not to get close to anyone or thing. Yes, perhaps it was.

* * *

><p>"<em>You cant do this!" She demanded, pleading the red haired girl. "I cant…There is nothing here for me anymore please! You took him..took him away so take responsibility and kill me too!"<em>

"_You're crazy!" Kallen shouted, grabbing C.C and leading her down the hall. Lelouch was a freaking idiot. This girl practically worshiped the ground he walked on, though from she had seen Lelouch worshiped anything remotely close to her. _

_Kallen understood his plan to be dead. It was best for everyone if the leader cut off all ties to the past. But this was almost too much. He'd done nothing but whimper all night and so had C.C._

_Once they reached outside, Kallen shoved C.C into the closest car. She was sure C.C was a good person, if not overly wonderful, but she really couldn't care. Her top priority was Lelouch._

_Actually that was a lie. Her top priority was Zero. C.C was strong. However she seemed to be so lost without Lelouch she let herself be thrown around by the red head. Of course this was what Kallen had been instructed to do. It would help C.C view the black nights as nothing more than monsters. _

_They drove for three hours. It was hell. Fuck it was it was. Kallen hoped to never hear such begging or pleading ever again in her life. She had to force the girl out of the car, which was hard do to the screaming. Yeah, and the flailing. _

_She'd escaped this battle with some pretty nasty claw marks. Oh Lelouch would pay for this. Kallen could see the greenette from the rear view mirror. It made her sick how the girl was shaking, struggling to stay conscious. As she drove the car away, Kallen called an ambulance. Just because Lelouch seemed to have forgotten how to be a decent human didn't mean she had to. _

_She hoped the girl would move one quickly and forget the selfish jerk. _

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><p><em><strong>Oh hello there! If anyone decided to read this after so long then I hope you liked this chapter. I'm not all that sure what happened. I just kinda got the muse for this story back. I have a direction for this story but I cant form the words to express it all so I am very sorry for that. I will try to start writing more though, that I promise!<strong>  
><em>

_**Code Geass is not mine, review if you wish but totally understandable if you dont~ Until next time!  
><strong>_

_**-Suzuki Uchiha  
><strong>_

_**ps sorry for the short chapter OTL  
><strong>_


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